spending time to think who i am, what i want to do. even though i get busy, i never am so busy as i did last year. i may be stressed, but never to the levels of last year. being abroad and exposed to different types of leadership, i see how i can improve for the future. i don't regret the failures i have had because every single incident makes me learn.

yet i lament for those who keep incidents close to their heart and hold a grudge, and see it as a personality flaw in other people. you can only start to change yourself, because changing others is simply more difficult than yourself. so i can only say, i do my best to be a better version of myself - it is an uphill struggle for me, but i lay that very brick as a foundation, tomorrow the step will become easier as i practice every day.

somehow every day must be a fruitful day. so.. i started to appreciate classical music over this period, as i am living in the city where beethoven was born and nodame cantabile series. in a way, music reminds me of what i studied in literature - expressing some sort of human expression, reflecting the thought in times, historical context. each piece is analyzed based on understanding of the historical times, the period in which the composer lived in, what he was thinking, and the feelings to be conveyed. a pity i was never taught this by my music teacher, but now i see. i am seriously thinking of going back to music, to continue what i began and possibly finish the studies at least in the theory aspect.