in that one month, i made a decision to put myself forward for a position on the global level. i didn't need much convincing to apply; i thought, "why not?" at least our president has the choice of different candidates :)

so the excitement kicked in, and the intensity of the application kept me wondering how much i wanted this position. i hung in there, because i believe.

moreover, when i applied, i was prepared for both possibilities - success and failure. but nobody can truly predict what the results are, neither is it an absolute evaluation of ability.

the most beautiful part was, i didn't know what i was in for. all i thought of was, i should just try. and trying turned out into something so inspirational.. from even my competency assessment, there were so many consistent remarks about me, i began to think, is this me? wow.

then of course there's the part to improve, and i spent time contemplating and making sure i will do my best to be more sensitive to others' feelings. i realized i usually turn away from tricky issues, especially when i have to address touchy points. sore wounds, unhappiness - i avoid them until i really have to tackle them, since these take time and effort to deal with. and these truly sap my energy.

but i guess it's a new lesson for me, to learn to approach these as well :)